Ruins

Fuck everything.
Anger takes over, when there's room left for forgiveness.
time and time again, over and over,
i've let you get away with killing me slowly.
there are so many places i wish i would have been than where i was when we met
i knew the second we set eyes on each other that we had something different

i recall this feeling happening before, in what seemed like a different life.
time passed, and now this pull returns.

i felt like i knew you already. like you and i were pieces of a puzzle, the final two.
a pairing meant to be savored, or thrown like paper into the flames.
watch the beauty of an image fall into place,
something truly extraordinary
that only lasted for a second.

now i understand that we were never meant to be

never.
it's such a harsh word, i don't think either of us fully understand the consequences of this term.
i fell so hard for you, and had myself half-convinced that i was getting over you.
i was lying again, obviously.

we had something so beautiful, i can barely explain it.
every day around you had fire, life, truth, air.
i felt great and whole and precious.
wanted.

now i feel like the dirt we tread upon without a second's thought.

you fucking asshole, i will never forget what you've done to me.
i let myself give you every ounce of forgiveness i could muster,
and i get absolutely nothing in return.
and now, there's nothing left but anger.
you were the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.
mediocrity is far better.
i hope you rot in hell.
(because i will be there with you)