questions

you say that i'm perfect, at least to you.

always saying how i'm just right, our hands fitting together with ease.

comparatively perfect height, eyes like stormy seas.

you're too good for me, i know.

so far out of my league, i feel like i barely know you.

but i'm falling for you just the same.

you've made your share of mistakes,

and i've told my share of lies.

i want you to want me so badly.

i can't imagine life without you.

i just want to be near you whenever i can.

i love it when you call just to hear my voice.

my heart skips a beat every time i see you, every time i imagine that you're near. you drive me crazy, and i just want you to hold me and love me the way i love you. i want you so badly, but i know you're too good for me. i just can't stand the thought of you being held back by me. go and see the world, and tell me about it when you return. don't let me restrict you, don't fool yourself into loving me. but if it's true that you feel just how i do, then please, by all means, stick around. but just know that you're so much better than me, and i feel intimidated. i want to live up to anything you've ever dreamed of. i want to be the one, that little voice of reason in your head.

will you love me?

will you forgive me?

will you listen?

can i love you?

are you happy?

will you be happy for a while?

is there ANYTHING i can do for you?

how can i hold on to you without holding you back?

can i be yours?

can you be mine?

can we ever belong?

i'm comfortable with you.

busted

YouTube - Every Avenue - Tell Me I'm A Wreck

Your voice has always made my heart stop, and I'm sure it always will.

I hope we will have forever to figure out if I'm right.

But in the end, I'll do anything to keep you happy.

I want you to be my everything and more.

Let me in, and I'll show you a love like you've never seen before.

falling

“There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just mean you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton (Incubus Dreams)

juggle the reasons

date night.

and you steal me over again.

piece by piece,

slowly slipping from my own grasp into yours.

you've got me

and i'm scared.

if you ever leave me now,

i'll be gone.

even if i'm still alive,

[which i probably won't be]

i'll be gone if you are

i can't help but fear,

it's all i've ever known.

i just need you here

you dont need to be talking to me

or even paying attention,

let alone care,

just let me be near you.

keep it

you make me love you. you make me smile.

and i can't help but fall in love with you.

and i know you feel the same :]

we're both stuck in lives we didn't want at first,

making the best of what we have,

trying our best to be who we want to be,

and still what every one else wants to see.

both made bad decisions, both had some lies,

both ready to give it all up under starry skies.

it's nice to be a kid again,

and still be falling in love.

i can be around you and feel completely uninhibited,

like i'll never have to lie again.

you change everything.

and i'm so incredibly glad you finally made it clear.

boyfriend.

i can't wait for life.

instead of waiting for death.

not without you

It’s another lazy Sunday afternoon,

The breeze picks up, clean spring air

I’m alone again, ever lost in hoping

Clouds roll in, you can almost smell the rain

I think of you, eyes closed

Skin shivers in the mist, skin prickling with a chill

Remembering your touch, so gentle to me

The call of nature, spark of light

Later when the thunder rolls strong,

Feel the power in my bones, shaken to the core

Wanting to go back, just to dance into the moonlight one more time

My heart races, breath caught in my throat, straining to see

You’re home

one hundred words, one hundred ways i want you

it's time

originally found here: You never know when… | Points North

You never know when…

I sit beside your feet tonight, hoping to sit inside your dreams tonight. I look at you and somehow make you smile. All the while your arms are in mine and the stars are circling overhead in time and somehow we’re still smiling away I find. So kiss me once I’ll kiss you back. Leave me once and I’ll track you through the night till sunrise. Then somehow it will be alright just you and me sitting side by side. Waiting for the other to fall asleep just so that they could keep watch until day turned to night. And since neither would budge a bit we ended up talking through all of it and we missed the day but ended up not missing anything at all. And that is what happens when I meets You and smiles help carry us through until nothing is left but tenderness for the other. So read me now darling dear, I want you to know so very clear, it’s your heart I want above any other. Yours will be mine and mine will be yours until we have nothing left but each other. With this love comes smiles and hugs and happiness with all of the above, so please make my wish come true. Simply because it’s time I said I love you.

read me like a book

i'm so sorry you had to work late last night,

but wasn't my arrival a pleasant surprise?

i thought so.

and we held hands in the parking lot,

whispering to each other like old friends.

[there isn't a word yet, to describe old friends who've just met]

and it just hit me,

that now i am simply happy.

and i never really noticed i was sad.

i don't mind that you were late,

not at all.

it was still time spent with you.

i just melt, with your hands on mine

fingers circling on my shoulder,

drive me crazy

my head on your shoulder

my hand across your chest

you kiss my cheek

my lips on yours

teeth on skin

your hand on my hair,

i'm clutching you closer

tongues dancing,

we feel alive

and later when you had to leave,

one last press of your lips to mine,

and i died

i died and i am living forever with you.

and i'm not gonna say it first,

but in case you wanted to know,

i fell in love with you

i don't know when or where or just quite why,

but it's true

i'm falling fast for you

-----

You’ve, got me caught in all this mess.
I guess, we can blame it on the rain.
My pain is knowing I can’t have you,
I can’t have you.

Tell me does she, look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move.
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?
Hey.

I catch my breath,
The one you took the moment you entered the room.
My heart it breaks at the thought of her holding you.

Does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
And the way you move.
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more then a crush?
Is it more than a crush?

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.)
Maybe I’m alone in this,
But I find peace in solitude knowing,
(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.)
If I had but just one kiss this whole room,
Would be glowing.
(Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.)
We’d be glowing,
We’d be glowing.
Ey.

Does she?
Tell me does she look at you the way I do,
Try to understand the words you say,
and the way you move.
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me am I crazy, or is this more then a crush?

More than a crush.

short post!

So, this is pretty much just me telling the whole wide world how much I loved last night.

The dinner was amazing.

And after when we were just walking around,

I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd have rather been.

Not even remotely.

And later that night, when we had to say goodbye,

and we held each other like we'd never let go.

i kissed your cheek.

and i swear we were infinite.

But alas, today was your last day of school.

Along many other of my best friends.

I will miss you all, so very much.

And I am so very glad that you didn't leave.

I'm glad you couldn't say goodbye.

all about us

YouTube - All About Us - HE IS WE

oh no, what is it you see?

whoa oh, what do you think it means?

it that all?

is this all?

you stand by her

and i'm left with me

i'm giving up the only thing i could believe

was ever mine

whoa oh, what does it mean?

when you're left without her

and i've still got just me

what happens now?

everyone is waiting for something

do you even remember me?

'Cause all i ever think about is you

whoa oh, what does it mean?

when you're around her and then you see me

and you feel like coming home

whoa oh, what does it mean?

when time stops just for us

and you know you've found

what you were lookin' for.

and you just can't wait

no, now you'll never wait

to come home

so come home to me

you

wish granted? this never happens.

at least not usually.

especially for me.

but he is not moving to Louisiana!

and he is taking me on a date later this week!

which will prove tricky to do.

since his day off is thursday.

and this is also my meeting day.

which i have missed the past 2 weeks.

and mother will unhappy if i skip again.

but come on now, a date with him? finally? please dear god, let this one work out?

i may be asking too much, since he's not leaving after all, but while we're on this good streak, let's just keep it going.

please?

never ever

the world lacks down-to-earth people.

and those who are as such,

are often unable to spread their wings and fly.

what would you rather do; be able to see a few things as they are, or see a million things in any way you wish?

--

i hope so much that this all going to disappear. i don't want to tell him goodbye. it isn't in me.

i'm suicidal for him.

i hope he feels the same.

utter heartbreak

fuck.

goddammit, Cody. i was fucking head over heels for you. trying with every given moment to spend more time with you. trying to win you over half as much as you've captured me. and you don't even realize it. and now i have to hear from someone else that you're moving away for good in 3 weeks?

right on prom night?

the very same prom that i went to with a date that i hate just to make a friend happy. the very same prom i wish i could have been with you for. and i fell for every little thing you did. your smile, the hugs and the laughter, the sweet little chats, flirting just for fun. and you're crazy, and a little bit hard to handle at times, but i swear you're perfect for me. and now my heart's half broken because you're gonna leave me here.

and you haven't even told me yet.

and now i have to keep on going pretending that everything's still okay because i'm not supposed to know about it yet. and i thought we'd have all summer, and you promised me we'd hang out and go places and now we only have 3 weeks. and you act like it's all okay.

like i'm not in love with you.

like i wouldn't have done anything for you to have kissed me last night. and i have to tell you all of this. because i fucking will not let you leave without at least knowing this. and i'm still dying inside. part of it hasn't hit me yet, the fact that you won't be around. and i don't know what i'm going to do.

i can't promise anything,

'cause i know i'm gonna do stupid things to try and get over you. and they won't work. i nearly killed myself when you stopped talking to me a short while back, but you were still around and present. and now... now everything's changing and i can't hold on anymore. i need you. without you here i think i might as well just wither away and hope one day i might see you again.

just once more.

and i will hope and dream that before you leave, you understand how i feel about you. and that you maybe will at least feel bad for me, if not the same. and that you might leave me with at least a kiss. and i will never want to love again.

i can feel a hole ripping open inside of me. the empty feeling. and what hurts the worst is knowing that this is only the beginning, because after you leave, i will die. i will from the inside out and become a broken shell of a girl that wants nothing more than you and your friendship. nothing more. nothing.

i still can't fucking believe it. you're gonna be gone. and not gone like the last one, 'cause he's still around and sometimes i see his car and let slip a sad smile, but this is different. you're going to be gone for good. and that means i will break more than before, and i will snap. i will snap and leave the world with nothing but a memory of me.

but if you're going to happy away from here, i suppose it's okay. as long as you're happy, i keep on a pretty face and trudge on. 'cause i'm not gonna be selfish and wish you all my pain just so you'll remember me. even though it would be nice, i won't be selfish just for you. 'cause in my eyes, you're worth it. i never thought you'd be the guy for me, but it wasn't long before i realized that it almost couldn't be anyone else. because quite frankly, you are beautiful. you are beautiful on the inside and out. each flaw makes you shine with a light some people can't see. each little thing you hate about yourself only makes me want you more. and i hate it. i hate how you make me love you without even trying.

and you don't even have the guts to tell me yet.

i still need you. please

--

because when you put your arms around me, i'm home.

--

i know i can’t take one more step towards you
cause all thats waiting is regret
don’t you know i’m not your ghost anymore
you lost the love i loved the most
i learned to live, half alive

--

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

other drugs

i can't fucking stand you,

and how beautifully imperfect you are.

each blemish is a fleck of gold,

each flaw a map to heaven.

i could read your fears forever,

and hold you when you see them.

each touch is like a wake-up call,

and now i never want to sleep.

--

i may not believe in love, but i believe in loving you.

so get back here, and let me kiss you.

--

i had a dream.

and then i woke up crying.

because in was in that back room,

and the scene played out again.

it was just like it happened in real life,

except i actually had the nerve to act.

you were telling me how amazing i am

and we were all alone

so i kissed you.

short and sweet, and on the lips.

and i think you smiled at me.

and then i was scared.

afraid you;d never talk to me again.

afraid this would change everything.

so i woke up, already in tears.

plans

i was going to give him a shot.

truly, i was.

but you came over, you said he isn't right.

at least not quite right for me.

and i know what you meant,

you meant that you would be better.

i dare you to prove it.

prove it to me.

i can't even explain how much i want it to be you hugging me before class, kissing me goodbye, talking to me every chance you get, taking me to prom, the one who's always on your mind. i only let him do it because i'm too broken to say no. but you are my duct tape, you could put me back together if you so desired. please fix me. every little thing you do is amplified to me, each little touch is electrifying, an embrace is like a little promise that you'll still talk to me tomorrow. i can't stand that i let someone else near me, and that you and him don't get along. and i'm also still in love with your best friend. not petty little lusting, not a high-school crush, love. i can picture him in my life forever, and i can't imagine life without him. everything's okay when he'a around, and nothing's fine when he isn't. but he's in love with another girl, and i sure as hell don't wanna get in the way of that.

because there's still you to hope for. i know you don't really "date", and i quite frankly don't give a damn. we can be friends, we can be best friends, we can be acquaintances, we can be besties with benefits. i don't care. just don't leave. i want you.

and you tell me i'm amazing every day, and as much as i love to hear you say it, i need you to stop. because i know you don't mean it the way my heart takes it. i know it doesn't mean a thing, and so i need to stop getting my hopes up. because if i fall again, there's no telling when, if ever, i manage to get back up.

and i want you.

i haven't really gotten it figured out past that.

candy

and when you kiss me, i melt.

I imagine I looked the same way when you kissed me last night. I died. You walked me to my cab and kissed me on the mouth, and I died.

I died and I am living forever.

or at least this is how i imagine it will be. because when he kisses me, all i can do is think of you.