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i was going to give him a shot.

truly, i was.

but you came over, you said he isn't right.

at least not quite right for me.

and i know what you meant,

you meant that you would be better.

i dare you to prove it.

prove it to me.

i can't even explain how much i want it to be you hugging me before class, kissing me goodbye, talking to me every chance you get, taking me to prom, the one who's always on your mind. i only let him do it because i'm too broken to say no. but you are my duct tape, you could put me back together if you so desired. please fix me. every little thing you do is amplified to me, each little touch is electrifying, an embrace is like a little promise that you'll still talk to me tomorrow. i can't stand that i let someone else near me, and that you and him don't get along. and i'm also still in love with your best friend. not petty little lusting, not a high-school crush, love. i can picture him in my life forever, and i can't imagine life without him. everything's okay when he'a around, and nothing's fine when he isn't. but he's in love with another girl, and i sure as hell don't wanna get in the way of that.

because there's still you to hope for. i know you don't really "date", and i quite frankly don't give a damn. we can be friends, we can be best friends, we can be acquaintances, we can be besties with benefits. i don't care. just don't leave. i want you.

and you tell me i'm amazing every day, and as much as i love to hear you say it, i need you to stop. because i know you don't mean it the way my heart takes it. i know it doesn't mean a thing, and so i need to stop getting my hopes up. because if i fall again, there's no telling when, if ever, i manage to get back up.

and i want you.

i haven't really gotten it figured out past that.