but i don't want to try.
this is how my brain operates, about pretty much everything.
you know; "that would be awesome! but I don't want to be the one to do it"
so i don't.
and today, i learned the one thing that has put my worries to rest.
You like me, and you like her. and i understand now, why you're never happy around me. we're never happy when we have to make a choice. and if you're down about it, then that means it's a tough decision. which means that i must mean something to you. which is the only thing keeping me going.
and apparently, when someone is having a bad day, they want you to drop everything and cheer them up. which i understand. now what if we both had bad days? and the only way to make my day better is to NOT be anywhere near you?! there's no way to win, and it's fucking impossible for you to lose, so who gets the ass end of the deal every time? who gets their whole fucking day made even worse? who gets their plans ruined? who has to deal with the fact that you're fucking bipolar with a nasty temper? who?
yeah. yours truly. now get the hell out of my life.
and people wonder why i want to move out.
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